The Girl To Woman Festival Blog

Simple Green Soup

22/7/2018

Nothing beats a bowl of soup to warm the cockles of your heart on a cold rainy evening. Soup is one of my favourite dishes to make. I find there’s something very therapeutic about making a big pot of soup: gently chopping all the ingredients, stirring the soup and leaving it to do it magic, then finally blending it to silky smooth perfection. One of the great things about soup, is that it can be frozen in individual portions so it makes an easy last minute meal when you are tired or the fridge is empty. This recipe has become my staple green soup – it’s light, nourishing and bursting with goodness, and it feels like a good way to begin my blog. It’s served here with a drizzle of walnut oil and a sprinkle of pumpkin seeds.

Simple Green Soup – Vegan, gluten, grain, dairy and sugar free.
Serves 6 – 8

Ingredients:

1 tbsp olive oil
1/2 tsp turmeric
1 small onion, chopped
4 garlic cloves, chopped
1 fennel bulb, chopped
1 350g broccoli head, florets and stalk, chopped
200g spinach leaves, washed
25g pack of basil, washed
1l hot water/low salt vegetable stock
1 tbsp seaweed flakes (optional)

Method:

Heat the olive oil in a large soup pot. Add the turmeric, onion and garlic and cook, stirring often, over low-medium heat for about 5 minutes until softened. Add the fennel and soften for a few minutes.
Pour over the water/stock, bring to the boil then simmer covered for 10 minutes until the fennel has cooked.
Add the broccoli and simmer for a further 5-10 minutes or until cooked through. Add the spinach, stirring until wilted then add the basil and seaweed flakes (if using), take of the heat and cover.
Leave to stand for a few minutes then blend until silky smooth.
Serve with a drizzle of the olive/seed/nut oil of your choice.

For more nourishing recipes, check out:
www.spiceandsmileblog.com

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Connection, expression and community: the Girl to Woman Festival has come to Melbourne!

11/5/2018

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'Not an adult or child playing on their mobile phone in sight' - Tina, parent.

Who are 'Mr Bim’ and 'Mr Bam’? All that festival goers were told was that they were really shy and wouldn’t come out if the crowd didn’t bust out. Curiosity quickly turned into jovial laughter when Natalie Benhayon, Director of the Girl to Woman festival, revealed that Bim and Bam were actually big dance movements that encouraged participants to not hold back during the epic True Movement finale song.

This was just one of the many highlights that marked a day that will undoubtedly remain in the memory of many young girls and parents who attended the Girl to Woman festival on Sunday 29th April at Functions on Chapel in Prahran, Melbourne. An iconic event that sees people from around Australia travel to Lennox Head in Northern NSW for their annual Summer festival, Girl To Woman has now marked its footprint in the city of Melbourne for the first time.

'The Girl to Woman festival is all about bringing community together and reminds us all of core values we do all know. Values such as celebrating our young girls and confirming them in who they are,' says Sara Harris founder of the Girl to Woman Project and a health and well-being practitioner specialising in women’s health based in Caulfield Melbourne.

'This festival offers what is in effect a dedicated space for parents and children to connect with themselves and with each other.'

When community comes together in connection, magic seems to happen. It was inescapable to witness in both parents and children the joy of being celebrated by themselves and each other.

The overarching theme for this year’s festival was 'Whose Role Model are You?' 'All of us are role-models for the young women in our lives,' says Natalie Benhayon, MC and Director of the Girl to Woman Festival. 'When we realise the impact we naturally have on everyone, it can be a very empowering moment when you decide what you’re going to do with that responsibility. We realise that change can take place simply by offering connection to those immediately around us.'

The sense of community and connection was very palpable throughout the entire festival. There were a myriad of activities and workshops on offer with every corner of the venue inside and outside adorned to welcome the young girls who walked in the door. Gift bags, exquisitely wrapped, greeted them upon entry. The delicious aromas of home cooked wholesome food and treats, and the chill-out and nurture space offered for the adults, along with the workshops and conversations on offer for the adults to partake in, created a space for everyone, young and old to simply be.

'There was not an adult or child playing on their mobile phone in sight,' commented Tina, a mother and business owner based in Melbourne’s western suburbs. 'Everywhere you would turn, people were in conversation, smiling, enjoying the activities and beaming more and more as the day went on.'

Throughout the day, the space was provided for like-minded parents and adults to have access to multiple professionals working in the fields of youth and psychology in group forums and workshops. All of this for a day pass ticket fee. Add to that the community engagement and shared wisdom from other festival goers that everyone benefits from, and you could see why so many parents present commented that 'there’s nothing else like this.'

'Offering that space and service to parents is a key component to the Festival’s planning every year,' says Natalie. 'Support for parents in a fast-changing climate of social media, mental health and rapidly intensifying behaviours is so important to us.'

Antonietta Bua, a clinical social worker and qualified teacher based in Melbourne’s Northern suburbs led the community forum on ‘Changing Behaviours’. This was a chance to discuss these challenges and raise the additional challenges now faced with the digital age. A common theme was parents grappling with when and how much to let their children use devices with sleeplessness, gaming addictions and bullying a shared concern.

An empowering forum was provided for women and their daughters in the Mother Daughter Dynamics session, to unpack the at times emotionally challenging relationships that we can have with our family members and how it is possible for each of us to become agents of positive change. At the same time that this forum was taking place, the Dad’s Discussion group held the many men who participated in immense understanding as they considered what it means to be a dad. Is having children to care for a burden for the archetypal bread-winner? Or can the responsibility of children bring a much greater freedom and all-encompassing joy when this responsibility is embraced?

These were inspiring conversations that left everyone feeling invigorated and reconnected to what really felt like the joy of being a parent and quite simply a member of the community.

And with plenty of areas to chill-out, but no one wanting to check-out, the first of many to come Girl to Woman Festivals in Melbourne was unequivocally embraced. The day completed with everyone singing along to the Girl to Woman Anthem, a heartfelt song that brought tears to the eyes of many of the adults in the room, as the words were clearly being claimed by the young girls singing in celebration to what they had connected to within themselves. See here to access the lyrics and download the song.

The Girl to Woman has most certainly marked its debut in Melbourne. And it seems it’s just the beginning.

I am wise
I am powerful
With my beautiful eyes
I show my inner-fire

I am divine
And I am graceful
Every part every curl
Proud to be a girl

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The Beauty of a Father - Daughter Bond

27/4/2018

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Ally (4) and Hamish (32)

Ally (12) and Hamish (40) @ 2018 Lennox G2W Festival

As a mother and professional working with young people, Sarah Broome is an enthusiastic supporter of the G2W festival because of how it celebrates and supports girls and young women. In this blog, Sarah shares with us the beauty of the bond between her husband and daughter, and how this relationship supports the whole family to grow.

Over the years I have observed the relationship my husband has with my daughter who is now coming into her teens. It has a unique quality, different to the relationship I have with her, however equally powerful. They speak about different things, hug in their own way, laugh about things that they find funny together, and have differences between them that offer learning opportunities that she can’t get with me.

I remember one time that ol’ dreaded morning came when there were no clean school tops for our daughter (they were still dirty under her bed) and my husband just said ‘well you needed to put them in the dirty wash basket’ and without an ounce of sympathy continued on with his morning routine. This was a far cry from my chasing after the kids and doing their work for them – always ending up nagging and complaining how I wasn’t appreciated. What I realised in this example was the message my husband was actually giving to our daughter. He was saying ‘you are capable’, ‘you are responsible’. This invited my daughter to step up and feel her power and responsibility in that situation, an experience she could then take into other areas of life – which she did.

I feel that my husband's innate essence as a man has always offered my daughter this space to feel who she truly is on the inside, to connect with this amazing quality, and moreover to bring it out into the world. When my husband is connected with his own steadiness, he naturally offers this to her and communicates a settlement that doesn’t need lots of words. It is like a knowing that they have between each other. I am inspired by this, and learn a lot from their relationship.

I didn’t have a father who was really around that much – even when he was around he wasn’t really there if you know what I mean. He was either working super hard or hitting the grog when he was home – I understand now that it was a tough gig for him to be the provider and not have any relationships in his life which nurtured him and helped him express what was going on for him. I didn’t find much care or inspiration from him but I did get it from my God-father. My Uncle Charlie was a Scotsman of few words – but he observed everything. He was the kind of guy who in the midst of a long running argument or debate in a group would, after being silent the whole time, make a statement that would stop everyone in their tracks, and usually end the argument. One day he said to me out of the blue, “Sarah, you have always known what’s right for you.” I was stopped in my tracks. This felt like the best gift I had ever been given – like someone had seen me and been seeing me for a long time. It was confirmation of what I knew on the inside but didn’t feel much confidence in as no one had supported me to claim it or feel it much.

Every girl is worth that kind of space, someone who observes and appreciates who they are on the inside, someone who holds them to that, and someone who in that beholding love, supports them to know and trust deeply who they are.

And this relationship is not just one way. Just as I know my Uncle Charlie appreciated what I brought to his life, I have observed how my husband has grown as a result of being a father inspired by the beautiful qualities my daughter brings. He has blossomed in his warmth, care and dedication. It has been a joy to see unfold.

By Sarah Broome

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Easter Bunny Pancakes

30/3/2018

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Healthy banana and buckwheat sugar free pancakes made into a fun Easter bunny.

Nourish 101:

This recipe is free from gluten, dairy and refined sugar.
This recipe is nut free and suitable for those with nut sensitivity and for nut free school lunch boxes.
Made with simple, nourishing ingredients.
Naturally sweetened with banana with no added sugar.

Recipe:
Ingredients:

3/4 cup mashed overripe banana
1/2 cup plant-based milk (I use almond or coconut milk)
1 large free range egg, whisked
1/2 cup buckwheat flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla bean powder or vanilla extract
Coconut oil for cooking
Pure maple syrup to serve (optional)
Fresh banana slices to decorate
Coconut yoghurt to decorate
Desiccated coconut to decorate

Method:

In a mixing bowl combine banana with milk and egg.
Add buckwheat flour, baking powder, cinnamon and vanilla and combine well.
Heat coconut oil in a frying pan and cook pancakes into shapes to create an Easter bunny. (You will need 1 one round head, 1 round body, 2 long ears, 2 small feet and 1 small round tail).
Cook for 1 minute each side or until cooked.
Assemble shapes to create an Easter bunny.
Decorate with banana slices for feet and yoghurt and coconut on the tail.
Serve with maple syrup (optional).

For more nourishing recipes, check out:
www.livelovenourish.com.au

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The Preciousness of Girls & Women

18/3/2018

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Bianca Barban is a Registered Nurse, wife and mother who knows first hand the challenges that raising a teenage daughter and nearly teenage son brings in today’s fast paced life. In this blog, Bianca shares an experience of connecting to the absolute preciousness that is within each and every girl, and how this quality never leaves and is equally within each and every woman.

Recently I got to spend time with two little girls at a family party. The birthday girl was celebrating her first birthday and other little girl was two and half years old. They were both so beautiful, with eyes so clear and wide open. There was such an air of settlement within them, and when they walked there was no disruption to their surroundings, their movements like a ripple effect on a crystal clear lake. In observing them I got to feel and understand the meaning of grace on a whole new level. There was no doubt in my mind that they were both so exquisitely precious.

They played together harmoniously and what I noticed was that they were both so sure of themselves, they had a real knowing of what they wanted and what they needed. When the little one needed assistance, the older girl offered support, but not from an imposition or a sympathy but a genuine care and willingness to help another grow and develop.

I absolutely loved chatting with them and the older girl blew me away with her expression and her love of everything. They both had a tangible willingness to embrace the world and the people in it. There was no protection in the way they interacted with others but an honouring of how they felt, so if they didn’t feel to talk to someone they remained open but moved back onto their own path.

I have to admit, I almost cried at one point because I felt such an immense joy at being able to bare witness to such a depth of preciousness from them both. I also reflected how the world does not honour the preciousness that naturally exists within our girls and how different our existence would be if every little girl was adored and supported to continue living with this preciousness every day of her growing life.

I was pulled out of my pondering when I noticed my 13yr old daughter playing with the younger girls. There was a sweetness in her movements, a warmth and a holding quality. She met them both as equals and adored them for the purity that they are. They equally adored her, their wide eyes open and listening to every word. The beauty within each of them was palpable and I confirmed that the preciousness we begin with never leaves us.

I had such a beautiful day. I got to feel on such a real and tangible level the absolute beauty and preciousness that is within each and every girl no matter their age, and in this reflection I got to feel how deeply precious I am too.

The Girl to Women Festival is being held in Melbourne on Sunday 29th April 2018. This is a festival that honours the absolute preciousness of all girls and women. It is an event for the whole family to honour and celebrate the beauty within each and every girl and woman, and in doing this we equally acknowledge and celebrate the natural tenderness and delicacy within each and every boy and man. An event not to be missed.

By Bianca Barban - Woman, Mother, Registered Nurse
Photography by Iris Pohl

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The Girl to Woman Festival…A Game Change for the World and Its People

11/3/2018

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Behaviour Specialist, Tanya Curtis, works daily with people from all walks of life. She has come to realise it is the norm for people to have high anxiety, low-self-esteem and self-worth, and generally not living their full and true potential. Recently Tanya attended the Girl to Woman Festival and was pleasantly surprised to see another way for our future generations…another way that when put into practice could significantly impact our nation(s) budgets.

As a Behaviour Specialist and Counsellor, I work with children, teenagers and adults presenting with an array of non-preferred and unwanted feelings and symptoms resulting in their quality of life being impacted.

No matter the age, most clients I work with are experiencing heightened anxiety and/or low-self-esteem, not feeling enough, wanting to be perfect, trying to fit in … this, a very small snippet of the many common symptoms people are presenting with.

Each of these symptoms alone contribute to an array of challenges in life. It is common for people to present with relationship difficulties with family, friends, colleagues and/or partners, as well as feelings of sadness, anxiety and behavioural and/or mental health deteriorations in varying intensities.

As a simple analogy that I share with clients, these symptoms can be looked at as being a result of the quality of materials that each person’s foundations have been built on … materials which usually have been offered and accepted by society as a whole as ‘normal’ or ‘the way it is’ even though they do no truly support us to live wholesome lives. For example, it has become our accepted norm that we as a society determine the value of a person based on what that person does - being a good student, runner, mother, son, employee - while we equally placing judgement based on what a person does - ‘I love you because you made me a cup of tea’, or I’m mad at you because you didn’t make the bed’ ...an endless possible list…

But what if there were different quality materials on offer for our future generations to build their foundations on?

On the 21st January 2018 I was honoured to have been part of the annual Girl to Woman Festival held in Lennox Head. As the day went by I was privileged to see and interact with many of the young women, young men and their families.

Attendees of all ages and genders were offered an opportunity to build a foundation that allows themselves and all others to live and reach their full potential. Through the many presentations and informal and social connections throughout the day, these were some of the core principles offered...

All women and girls:

Are equally beauty-full, as each person’s true beauty comes from their inner being and never from their outer or exterior; thus, celebrating the beauty within is a crucial foundation that will wipe out societal issues related to self-image, body-image, self-worth, comparing self with others and so much more.
Will one day learn to live in a way that honours, respects and celebrates themselves and all others; this in turn will result in women feeling at ease and confident to be themselves in this world.
Are innately wise equally so, and thus the Girl to Woman Festival encourages a foundation that values each person’s wisdom and advocates a space where all people feel at ease to live and express their innate wisdom
Have A LOT to express and share with the world; thus, an integral foundation for girls and women is to be raised in a manner that allows them to feel at ease and thus free to express all that is there for them to share … everyone has a lot to share and must be valued no matter their age or gender.
Are presented with a lot of challenges in day-to-day life, whether that be kindergarten, school, workplaces and/or communities; thus, the Girl to Woman Festival promotes a platform that allows all people to openly express, free of judgment, what they have experienced.
Are deeply sensitive and this sensitivity when understood and supported is an absolute strength; thus, the Girl to Women Festival advocates that women of all ages must be supported to live their sensitivity and not join the current norms of hardening up and presenting a tough exterior.
Know at their core that what our world needs most is love; thus, foundations of decency, respect and consideration for all offers a platform for our world to begin to change.

It is clear to see that with these, and many other foundations of similar kind, we will have women in this world who feel confident, self-assured and who are contributing members to our society, while equally giving back and supporting others to be the same.

What stood out for me the most was that if every young person and their families were to have the principles offered at the Girl to Woman Festival as the quality materials to build their living foundation, then my job as a behaviour specialist, counsellor and mental health professional would be made redundant ... now what a blessing that would be ... not that I don't want to work as I love my job, but to know the world we live in does not need such services would be pure gold.

Imagine a world where our children, teenagers and adults feel confident to be themselves, have a solid knowingness of who they are and feel equipped to embrace the demands of their every-day life with minimal feelings of anxiety.

Can you imagine the benefits to society as a whole as our young people grow into members of society who give back and offer their all?

The economic benefits alone would be immeasurable. Not only would people and governments no longer need to allocate funds to services to reverse the ill-effects, but also the benefits that society will receive by having members of society offering and contributing all that they are. Consider the impacts on our national budget if all the funds that are currently being allocated to mental health services nation-wide were no longer needed … a long shot dream I know, but one day possible.

The economic benefits our country would receive is a mere smidgen of the benefits on offer via the Girl to Woman Festival ... the benefits far exceed that which I can even come close to fathoming.

So, from a person who sees on a daily basis adults, teenagers and children presenting with symptoms impacting significantly on their quality of life, I say, bring on more Girl to Woman Festivals ... they are an offering to our nations as whole, not only to those attending the festival.

The Girl to Woman Festivals are offering a foundation that supports our Amazing Girls to become Amazing Women.

By Tanya Curtis
Masters of Behaviour Management
Masters of Counselling
Bachelor of Health Science (Behaviour Management)
Associate Diploma of Education

Photography by Emilia Pettinato

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No-Bake Energy Muesli bars

25/2/2018

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Refined sugar free, gluten free energy muesli bars. No baking required. Hello healthy snack idea!

Combine wholefood ingredients including nuts, seeds, quinoa flakes, coconut, organic goji berries, coconut oil and tahini to make the perfect snack bars (or breakfast on-the-go) packed with nutrition.

Take these bars to the next level by topping with homemade tahini chocolate. Amazing!

I love to make snacks like these in my meal prep on weekends to have heathy snack options ready to go in the fridge throughout the week. If you would like to learn more about health snacking and how to meal prep for success I teach you how in my 8 Week Online Program.

Why this recipe is healthy and nourishing:

This recipe is gluten free, dairy free, egg free and vegan friendly.
Using the natural sweetness from a small amount of organic goji berries and dates this recipe is refined sugar free.
Using real food ingredients only this recipe has no preservatives or added refined sugar (which you'll often find in store-bought, packaged muesli bars).
You'll find tahini is used in this recipe not only to help bind but to add good fats and a source of plant-based calcium.
The combination of nuts and seeds provide a source of healthy fats and plant-based protein to keep you fuller for longer and to reduce sweet cravings. Good fats and protein are very satiating macronutrients that make you feel more satisfied whilst promoting balanced blood sugar levels (helping to reduce those cravings).
You'll also find psyllium husk in this recipe promoting healthy digestion, healthy cholesterol and added providing added fibre (great for encouraging stable blood sugar levels and keeping you feel full longer as well).

Recipe:
Ingredients:
Bars

½ cup each of almonds, macadamias, walnuts and cashews
¼ cup each of linseeds, chia seeds and pepitas
¾ quinoa flakes
¾ cup desiccated coconut
1 tblsp psyllium husks
¼ cup coconut oil
¼ cup water
½ cup goji berries
¾ cup dried dates
2 tblsp tahini

White Tahini Chocolate (optional)

50 grams cacao butter, melted
3 tblsps tahini
1 tblsp maple syrup

Method:

Add nuts, seeds, quinoa flakes, desiccated coconut and psyllium to a blender and blend on high until the mixture resembles a meal type texture.
Add coconut oil, water, tahini, dates and goji berries and blend together until mixture holds together when pressed.
Press mixture into a baking paper lined loaf tin and refrigerate until firm. Once firm, slice into bars.
To make the white chocolate, place cacao butter in a saucepan on a very low heat and continue stirring until completely melted. Add tahini and maple syrup and whisk until well combined.
Drizzle white chocolate over bars. Store in the refrigerator.

Recipe Tips:

Make sure you choose organic dried fruit (preservative free).
Nuts are more easily digested when they are activated. The My Organics range includes a selection of activated nuts and seeds.

For more nourishing recipes, check out:
www.livelovenourish.com.au

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Taking Care Of Myself First as a Busy Doctor

7/2/2018

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Dr Amelia Stephens is a GP living and working in Brisbane. She works in a busy clinic as well as teaching students and researching medical topics at the University of Queensland. She has studied for many years herself and has learned a lot about the importance of taking care of herself during work and study.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over my time working as a doctor, is that if I don’t take such great care for myself first, I cannot do the same for my patients. Every day I go to work and there are many people to see - to help, diagnose and guide through the treatment of different illnesses as well as life problems. As a GP, we don’t just treat physical illnesses, but also do a lot to help people in general with their lives.

I love being able to support people as part of my job, and the support that I provide would not be anywhere near possible if I didn’t take really great care of myself first.

Growing up, and when I was studying, I didn’t take as good care of myself as I do now – which was part of my learning. I imagine how much less exhausted I would have been with my studies, and potentially how much more I could have learned, had I taken much greater care with myself from the start.

There are some key things that I do now, that mean I take care of myself first:

Whenever I can, I go to bed early. I know I sleep best, and feel refreshed if I consistently go to bed around 9pm. Sometimes I can’t, and that’s ok – I’ve also developed ways to be very settled in the evening so that late nights don’t affect me so much. I love settling myself into my bed at night, and winding down beforehand I know is very, very important for the quality of my sleep.
I eat foods that I know my body loves (actually loves) – which means foods that nourish me from the inside out. I ate a fair amount of junk food growing up, and it definitely did not make my body feel vital and full of energy. I love making myself healthy and delicious meals now, and my body definitely thanks me for it!
I make time to appreciate the things I am doing well, and also how valuable I am. I know I am not valuable because I am a doctor, I’m valuable because I take all of me and my wisdom to what I do as a doctor. If I was to do any other job it would be the same, and it would be equally important. Taking time to appreciate the specific things we do well, and bring to those around us – just by being us - is really important. There’s no one just like me or you, which means we all have a very important part to play.

These 3 things I now do consistently, but it has taken some practice. I love taking care of myself first, and it actually means I can do so much more to help take care of those around me too.

By Amelia Stephens
Photography by Dean Whitling

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Observations of a Caring Man

2/2/2018

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These two blogs are written by a local Tenterfield man whose care and concern calls on us all as a community to support our girls and young women given the forces that surround them in their lives, such as social media and bullying.

Technology

Technology is fantastic and each generation brings something new to keep making us move forward. The telephone, television, mobile phones and the internet which has Google, Skype and Facebook just to name a few. The internet is great and we have learnt how to use it so easily, but just how easily can you put something on it for everyone to see.

There is so much violence, swearing, bullying and pornography on the internet, but no-one seems to be monitoring what goes on. You have to be a certain age to vote, to get your drivers licence, to drink at the pub, but why can anyone access everything on the internet? How can an eight year old bring up pornography on the internet when searching for information on a school project to do with animals?

I know of a group of boys at different high schools who play a game called Roll Call. Girls names are written down on a piece of paper and then the boys have to try and touch the girls without being noticed or caught...They skype each other and show them playing the game.

Why isn’t there a governing body that can block what goes on the internet?

Technology is great and we need to keep moving forward,
but at what cost does it come at sometimes?

bullying

Melissa was a vibrant bubbly teenager in her first year of high school. Tony was in Melissa’s class and as time went on they became girlfriend and boyfriend.

Tony had two older brothers he hung around with and they would talk about sex and watch porn. Tony’s perception of a girlfriend wasn’t someone to

respect but an object for sex. Tony would touch Melissa inappropriately and try and push himself onto her but Melissa would push him away and say, no I don’t want to. Tony would also try and get Melissa to wear skimpy clothes as that’s what he had seen on the internet and in magazines but once again Melissa felt uncomfortable wearing them and refused to.

Melissa couldn’t handle it anymore and broke up with him, which made Tony angry and he started teasing her and spreading rumors. Due to the teasing and rumors, Melissa started to become an introvert, her grades slipped and she didn’t want to go anywhere.

Melissa was struggling. Not only was she dealing with a new school environment with new students, teachers and activities, but she was also being teased and bullied.

Eventually Melissa broke down and told her older sister Sophie who had been away on an exchange school program what had been happening. Sophie approached Tony and told him he should have more respect for females and asked him how he would feel if someone was doing this to his sister.

Melissa, Sophie and their parents approached the principal and explained what had been going on and they wanted something done - not to Tony but more about the situation. The principal held a school meeting in the hall and had organised a counsellor to speak on the day to discuss sex, sexual diseases, pregnancy, and about males having respect for females.

Melissa eventually got back to her normal bubbly self with the all the love and help of family, friends and a counsellor.

* All names have been changed to protect identities.

Photography by Shannon Everest and Iris Pohl

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Walking Away With Way More Than a Gift Bag

24/1/2018

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Suzanne Anderssen attended the recent Girl to Woman Festival in Lennox Head with her 10 year-old daughter. She shares with us the significance of the G2W message in their lives.

My ten-year old daughter walked away with a lot from this year’s (2018) Girl to Woman Festival! To start with, the gift bags were amazing! They contained a high quality t-shirt (in the correct size and totally wearable), a gorgeous children’s book (I Am Beauty-full Just for Being Me), rose bath salts from L’Alchimiste, samples of mi’essence organic skin products, a fashion hair bow, discount offers and more. Over the course of the day she handmade a batch of fruit and nut balls, her own personally scented perfumed oil, a family of ‘rock critters’, a real flower garland in her newly braided, sparkly hair, a handmade bracelet of beads and a container of blue slime.

She also had a delightful time sharing the day with her best friend, loved the peppermint-licorice iced tea and other yummies from the Belle G2W café, had some crazy moments at the dress up photo booth and was privileged to hear a performance by Glorious Music. What a day, topped off with a swim at the beautiful Lennox Head beach just across the road!

But that’s only what I saw with my eyes.

I could feel the dedication of the festival organisers in the fairy lights, the decorated tents, the quality of the beauty products available and the kindness in the eyes of all the Girl 2 Woman t-shirt-wearing volunteers. And I could feel the importance of having the festival in the first place.

Children are born free, open, loving, playful, intelligent, cheeky and ever so sweet; and then often (usually), they slide into anxiousness, restlessness; they’re afraid, unsure, scared they don’t fit in, distracted teens and later adults, and possibly parents, as the cycle readily continues.

But somewhere in this I know we all have a choice for this not to be our reality.

And talking about choices...

Last year I was in a supermarket in Washington DC, USA. Choices ... choices ... choices galore! Each aisle was stacked with an unimaginable amount of choice. I couldn’t believe the cereal aisle! Every conceivable kind – cinnamon banana blueberry mulberry blackberry blast apple raisin maple honey crisp choco crunch mini multi pebbles clusters squares rounds puffs bunches frost bran flake strawberry almond pecan oat wheat corn rice – (you can breathe now!) in any size carton, flavour or texture. How is it possible to have so many combinations?!

Why am I going on about the choices of cereal in supermarkets?

Well, returning to the G2W festival, I sat in three of the workshops available for parents (and girls) that were facilitated by Natalie Benhayon, G2W Director and a team of specialist ‘girl/mother/father-empowerers’, and was taken back to that supermarket aisle in the USA.

Today, girls have an abundance of choices too, many in-your-face-type choices – no different to that cereal aisle. What to wear, what to eat, what to play, who to play with, who not to play with, what to say, what to laugh at, what to listen to, who to listen to, when to go to bed, when to wake up, what to read, what to write, what to watch, how to speak, how to listen, how to behave ... Endless choices.

A mother of a newborn baby can keep the baby close to her; she can make pretty much all the decisions for the baby. But only up to a certain point. Beyond that, the child begins making his/her own choices, the mother/father no longer being with the child every moment of the day. Our children continue to grow up, and continue to expand their repertoire of choice making. They spend more time with others and less with their parents, neither a good nor bad thing, it’s just the way it is. And with that, comes choices.

How does a child know what choice to make when they are flooded with so many options?

The million-dollar question of course, but the answer is very simple and forms the foundations of the Girl 2 Woman festival:

We carry the knowing of truth inside us from the second we are born. That newborn baby knows exactly what temperature he needs to be, when he needs food, when he needs to be held, when he needs space. And he doesn’t wait to be asked! Knowing what we need in any given moment is our god-given right as a human being; this knowing-what-we-need is true wisdom and doesn’t depend on our age.

The opening workshop of the day shared this understanding. The workshop was about exploring ‘how to stay connected with our girls as they develop their independence and navigate the many phases of change ahead’. The ‘many phases of change ahead’ contain the abundance of choices available; we can either feel bombarded and overwhelmed by these choices or we can make our choices based on the fact we DO know what is true and right for each of us, honestly.

I know I don’t make many choices for my ten year old these days. In fact, for most of her short life I gave over the choices to her, seeing my job as parent to simply reduce the choices available – this shoe or that one – knowing she had it in her to make the choice that was true or right for her.

The older she gets, the fact is that more choice becomes available, but I am less available to limit the choices.

I thus see my job now as empowering her to know SHE KNOWS. I will still say NO at times (likely often!), providing her with boundaries when there is simply no choice to make (I’m sure she will thank me for this one day!). And with her knowing she is wise, she is able to walk down that cereal aisle and say no to the choices on the shelves that do not support her.

We both definitely walked away from the festival with far more than what we were carrying in our hands.

By Suzanne Anderssen, B.Comm, Dip Av, mother, daughter, wife, friend

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