Category: The Festival

Connection, expression and community: the Girl to Woman Festival has come to Melbourne!

11/5/2018

'Not an adult or child playing on their mobile phone in sight' - Tina, parent.

Who are 'Mr Bim’ and 'Mr Bam’? All that festival goers were told was that they were really shy and wouldn’t come out if the crowd didn’t bust out. Curiosity quickly turned into jovial laughter when Natalie Benhayon, Director of the Girl to Woman festival, revealed that Bim and Bam were actually big dance movements that encouraged participants to not hold back during the epic True Movement finale song.

This was just one of the many highlights that marked a day that will undoubtedly remain in the memory of many young girls and parents who attended the Girl to Woman festival on Sunday 29th April at Functions on Chapel in Prahran, Melbourne. An iconic event that sees people from around Australia travel to Lennox Head in Northern NSW for their annual Summer festival, Girl To Woman has now marked its footprint in the city of Melbourne for the first time.

'The Girl to Woman festival is all about bringing community together and reminds us all of core values we do all know. Values such as celebrating our young girls and confirming them in who they are,' says Sara Harris founder of the Girl to Woman Project and a health and well-being practitioner specialising in women’s health based in Caulfield Melbourne.

'This festival offers what is in effect a dedicated space for parents and children to connect with themselves and with each other.'

When community comes together in connection, magic seems to happen. It was inescapable to witness in both parents and children the joy of being celebrated by themselves and each other.

The overarching theme for this year’s festival was 'Whose Role Model are You?' 'All of us are role-models for the young women in our lives,' says Natalie Benhayon, MC and Director of the Girl to Woman Festival. 'When we realise the impact we naturally have on everyone, it can be a very empowering moment when you decide what you’re going to do with that responsibility. We realise that change can take place simply by offering connection to those immediately around us.'

The sense of community and connection was very palpable throughout the entire festival. There were a myriad of activities and workshops on offer with every corner of the venue inside and outside adorned to welcome the young girls who walked in the door. Gift bags, exquisitely wrapped, greeted them upon entry. The delicious aromas of home cooked wholesome food and treats, and the chill-out and nurture space offered for the adults, along with the workshops and conversations on offer for the adults to partake in, created a space for everyone, young and old to simply be.

'There was not an adult or child playing on their mobile phone in sight,' commented Tina, a mother and business owner based in Melbourne’s western suburbs. 'Everywhere you would turn, people were in conversation, smiling, enjoying the activities and beaming more and more as the day went on.'

Throughout the day, the space was provided for like-minded parents and adults to have access to multiple professionals working in the fields of youth and psychology in group forums and workshops. All of this for a day pass ticket fee. Add to that the community engagement and shared wisdom from other festival goers that everyone benefits from, and you could see why so many parents present commented that 'there’s nothing else like this.'

'Offering that space and service to parents is a key component to the Festival’s planning every year,' says Natalie. 'Support for parents in a fast-changing climate of social media, mental health and rapidly intensifying behaviours is so important to us.'

Antonietta Bua, a clinical social worker and qualified teacher based in Melbourne’s Northern suburbs led the community forum on ‘Changing Behaviours’. This was a chance to discuss these challenges and raise the additional challenges now faced with the digital age. A common theme was parents grappling with when and how much to let their children use devices with sleeplessness, gaming addictions and bullying a shared concern.

An empowering forum was provided for women and their daughters in the Mother Daughter Dynamics session, to unpack the at times emotionally challenging relationships that we can have with our family members and how it is possible for each of us to become agents of positive change. At the same time that this forum was taking place, the Dad’s Discussion group held the many men who participated in immense understanding as they considered what it means to be a dad. Is having children to care for a burden for the archetypal bread-winner? Or can the responsibility of children bring a much greater freedom and all-encompassing joy when this responsibility is embraced?

These were inspiring conversations that left everyone feeling invigorated and reconnected to what really felt like the joy of being a parent and quite simply a member of the community.

And with plenty of areas to chill-out, but no one wanting to check-out, the first of many to come Girl to Woman Festivals in Melbourne was unequivocally embraced. The day completed with everyone singing along to the Girl to Woman Anthem, a heartfelt song that brought tears to the eyes of many of the adults in the room, as the words were clearly being claimed by the young girls singing in celebration to what they had connected to within themselves. See here to access the lyrics and download the song.

The Girl to Woman has most certainly marked its debut in Melbourne. And it seems it’s just the beginning.

I am wise
I am powerful
With my beautiful eyes
I show my inner-fire

I am divine
And I am graceful
Every part every curl
Proud to be a girl

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The Girl to Woman Festival…A Game Change for the World and Its People

11/3/2018

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Behaviour Specialist, Tanya Curtis, works daily with people from all walks of life. She has come to realise it is the norm for people to have high anxiety, low-self-esteem and self-worth, and generally not living their full and true potential. Recently Tanya attended the Girl to Woman Festival and was pleasantly surprised to see another way for our future generations…another way that when put into practice could significantly impact our nation(s) budgets.

As a Behaviour Specialist and Counsellor, I work with children, teenagers and adults presenting with an array of non-preferred and unwanted feelings and symptoms resulting in their quality of life being impacted.

No matter the age, most clients I work with are experiencing heightened anxiety and/or low-self-esteem, not feeling enough, wanting to be perfect, trying to fit in … this, a very small snippet of the many common symptoms people are presenting with.

Each of these symptoms alone contribute to an array of challenges in life. It is common for people to present with relationship difficulties with family, friends, colleagues and/or partners, as well as feelings of sadness, anxiety and behavioural and/or mental health deteriorations in varying intensities.

As a simple analogy that I share with clients, these symptoms can be looked at as being a result of the quality of materials that each person’s foundations have been built on … materials which usually have been offered and accepted by society as a whole as ‘normal’ or ‘the way it is’ even though they do no truly support us to live wholesome lives. For example, it has become our accepted norm that we as a society determine the value of a person based on what that person does - being a good student, runner, mother, son, employee - while we equally placing judgement based on what a person does - ‘I love you because you made me a cup of tea’, or I’m mad at you because you didn’t make the bed’ ...an endless possible list…

But what if there were different quality materials on offer for our future generations to build their foundations on?

On the 21st January 2018 I was honoured to have been part of the annual Girl to Woman Festival held in Lennox Head. As the day went by I was privileged to see and interact with many of the young women, young men and their families.

Attendees of all ages and genders were offered an opportunity to build a foundation that allows themselves and all others to live and reach their full potential. Through the many presentations and informal and social connections throughout the day, these were some of the core principles offered...

All women and girls:

Are equally beauty-full, as each person’s true beauty comes from their inner being and never from their outer or exterior; thus, celebrating the beauty within is a crucial foundation that will wipe out societal issues related to self-image, body-image, self-worth, comparing self with others and so much more.
Will one day learn to live in a way that honours, respects and celebrates themselves and all others; this in turn will result in women feeling at ease and confident to be themselves in this world.
Are innately wise equally so, and thus the Girl to Woman Festival encourages a foundation that values each person’s wisdom and advocates a space where all people feel at ease to live and express their innate wisdom
Have A LOT to express and share with the world; thus, an integral foundation for girls and women is to be raised in a manner that allows them to feel at ease and thus free to express all that is there for them to share … everyone has a lot to share and must be valued no matter their age or gender.
Are presented with a lot of challenges in day-to-day life, whether that be kindergarten, school, workplaces and/or communities; thus, the Girl to Woman Festival promotes a platform that allows all people to openly express, free of judgment, what they have experienced.
Are deeply sensitive and this sensitivity when understood and supported is an absolute strength; thus, the Girl to Women Festival advocates that women of all ages must be supported to live their sensitivity and not join the current norms of hardening up and presenting a tough exterior.
Know at their core that what our world needs most is love; thus, foundations of decency, respect and consideration for all offers a platform for our world to begin to change.

It is clear to see that with these, and many other foundations of similar kind, we will have women in this world who feel confident, self-assured and who are contributing members to our society, while equally giving back and supporting others to be the same.

What stood out for me the most was that if every young person and their families were to have the principles offered at the Girl to Woman Festival as the quality materials to build their living foundation, then my job as a behaviour specialist, counsellor and mental health professional would be made redundant ... now what a blessing that would be ... not that I don't want to work as I love my job, but to know the world we live in does not need such services would be pure gold.

Imagine a world where our children, teenagers and adults feel confident to be themselves, have a solid knowingness of who they are and feel equipped to embrace the demands of their every-day life with minimal feelings of anxiety.

Can you imagine the benefits to society as a whole as our young people grow into members of society who give back and offer their all?

The economic benefits alone would be immeasurable. Not only would people and governments no longer need to allocate funds to services to reverse the ill-effects, but also the benefits that society will receive by having members of society offering and contributing all that they are. Consider the impacts on our national budget if all the funds that are currently being allocated to mental health services nation-wide were no longer needed … a long shot dream I know, but one day possible.

The economic benefits our country would receive is a mere smidgen of the benefits on offer via the Girl to Woman Festival ... the benefits far exceed that which I can even come close to fathoming.

So, from a person who sees on a daily basis adults, teenagers and children presenting with symptoms impacting significantly on their quality of life, I say, bring on more Girl to Woman Festivals ... they are an offering to our nations as whole, not only to those attending the festival.

The Girl to Woman Festivals are offering a foundation that supports our Amazing Girls to become Amazing Women.

By Tanya Curtis
Masters of Behaviour Management
Masters of Counselling
Bachelor of Health Science (Behaviour Management)
Associate Diploma of Education

Photography by Emilia Pettinato

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Walking Away With Way More Than a Gift Bag

24/1/2018

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Suzanne Anderssen attended the recent Girl to Woman Festival in Lennox Head with her 10 year-old daughter. She shares with us the significance of the G2W message in their lives.

My ten-year old daughter walked away with a lot from this year’s (2018) Girl to Woman Festival! To start with, the gift bags were amazing! They contained a high quality t-shirt (in the correct size and totally wearable), a gorgeous children’s book (I Am Beauty-full Just for Being Me), rose bath salts from L’Alchimiste, samples of mi’essence organic skin products, a fashion hair bow, discount offers and more. Over the course of the day she handmade a batch of fruit and nut balls, her own personally scented perfumed oil, a family of ‘rock critters’, a real flower garland in her newly braided, sparkly hair, a handmade bracelet of beads and a container of blue slime.

She also had a delightful time sharing the day with her best friend, loved the peppermint-licorice iced tea and other yummies from the Belle G2W café, had some crazy moments at the dress up photo booth and was privileged to hear a performance by Glorious Music. What a day, topped off with a swim at the beautiful Lennox Head beach just across the road!

But that’s only what I saw with my eyes.

I could feel the dedication of the festival organisers in the fairy lights, the decorated tents, the quality of the beauty products available and the kindness in the eyes of all the Girl 2 Woman t-shirt-wearing volunteers. And I could feel the importance of having the festival in the first place.

Children are born free, open, loving, playful, intelligent, cheeky and ever so sweet; and then often (usually), they slide into anxiousness, restlessness; they’re afraid, unsure, scared they don’t fit in, distracted teens and later adults, and possibly parents, as the cycle readily continues.

But somewhere in this I know we all have a choice for this not to be our reality.

And talking about choices...

Last year I was in a supermarket in Washington DC, USA. Choices ... choices ... choices galore! Each aisle was stacked with an unimaginable amount of choice. I couldn’t believe the cereal aisle! Every conceivable kind – cinnamon banana blueberry mulberry blackberry blast apple raisin maple honey crisp choco crunch mini multi pebbles clusters squares rounds puffs bunches frost bran flake strawberry almond pecan oat wheat corn rice – (you can breathe now!) in any size carton, flavour or texture. How is it possible to have so many combinations?!

Why am I going on about the choices of cereal in supermarkets?

Well, returning to the G2W festival, I sat in three of the workshops available for parents (and girls) that were facilitated by Natalie Benhayon, G2W Director and a team of specialist ‘girl/mother/father-empowerers’, and was taken back to that supermarket aisle in the USA.

Today, girls have an abundance of choices too, many in-your-face-type choices – no different to that cereal aisle. What to wear, what to eat, what to play, who to play with, who not to play with, what to say, what to laugh at, what to listen to, who to listen to, when to go to bed, when to wake up, what to read, what to write, what to watch, how to speak, how to listen, how to behave ... Endless choices.

A mother of a newborn baby can keep the baby close to her; she can make pretty much all the decisions for the baby. But only up to a certain point. Beyond that, the child begins making his/her own choices, the mother/father no longer being with the child every moment of the day. Our children continue to grow up, and continue to expand their repertoire of choice making. They spend more time with others and less with their parents, neither a good nor bad thing, it’s just the way it is. And with that, comes choices.

How does a child know what choice to make when they are flooded with so many options?

The million-dollar question of course, but the answer is very simple and forms the foundations of the Girl 2 Woman festival:

We carry the knowing of truth inside us from the second we are born. That newborn baby knows exactly what temperature he needs to be, when he needs food, when he needs to be held, when he needs space. And he doesn’t wait to be asked! Knowing what we need in any given moment is our god-given right as a human being; this knowing-what-we-need is true wisdom and doesn’t depend on our age.

The opening workshop of the day shared this understanding. The workshop was about exploring ‘how to stay connected with our girls as they develop their independence and navigate the many phases of change ahead’. The ‘many phases of change ahead’ contain the abundance of choices available; we can either feel bombarded and overwhelmed by these choices or we can make our choices based on the fact we DO know what is true and right for each of us, honestly.

I know I don’t make many choices for my ten year old these days. In fact, for most of her short life I gave over the choices to her, seeing my job as parent to simply reduce the choices available – this shoe or that one – knowing she had it in her to make the choice that was true or right for her.

The older she gets, the fact is that more choice becomes available, but I am less available to limit the choices.

I thus see my job now as empowering her to know SHE KNOWS. I will still say NO at times (likely often!), providing her with boundaries when there is simply no choice to make (I’m sure she will thank me for this one day!). And with her knowing she is wise, she is able to walk down that cereal aisle and say no to the choices on the shelves that do not support her.

We both definitely walked away from the festival with far more than what we were carrying in our hands.

By Suzanne Anderssen, B.Comm, Dip Av, mother, daughter, wife, friend

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Girl to Woman - Something We All Want to be a Part of

23/1/2018

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Women’s Health practitioner, Sara Harris, founded the Girl to Woman Project through the inspiration of Natalie Benhayon and Esoteric Women’s Health (EWH) in 2013. Now a part of EWH and held by an incredible team of volunteers, The Girl to Woman Festival is growing bigger by the year, with more and more people naturally wanting to be a part of it. Sara shares her overview of our most recent festival in Lennox Head. For the 4th year running, this festival is proving to be iconic and a favourite holiday event for families all the way down the east coast. And there is so much more to come…

Imagine a movement where girls everywhere rise-up and meet the world with all that they truly are, and where they step out into life with true confidence and knowing the value they have to offer simply by being themselves. Imagine a movement where girls are celebrated, deeply cherished and nurtured in a way that gives them full permission to let us all know who they are, without one ounce of compromise. This movement is real and it’s happening.

The Girl to Woman Festival has just been held in Lennox Head NSW for the 4th year running, and what an incredible success it was. It was a fantastic turn out with local community members and others coming from towns further along the coast from Queensland right down to Melbourne. The true success was in the experience. The joy that was emanating from everyone in attendance was palpable. Endless activities were provided for the girls, their families and community members to participate in. The conversations everywhere were rich, supportive and very real – whether you were in the line for some of the awesome food that was being served by The Belle pop-up café, in an open discussion forum on parenting, making an empowerment cape or flower garland, or having your nails painted – it was all the same.

The quality of the festival and the absolute purity and integrity it is founded in was felt by all and it was only natural to be a part of it and to be in the movement and the flow of the day.

Today’s current view of girls in society is a far cry from the depth of honouring that is offered through the Girl to Woman initiative. Various research shows that girls' sense of themselves and feeling good about themselves, drops away in the early teenage years into a steady decline, often without recovering. Mental health and well-being research also demonstrates a decline, consistent across the board, regardless of other factors such as socio-economic influences. Our media is feeding on a market of young people who are desperately trying to find an identity and wanting to ‘fit in’. Fitting in is the security everyone wants because everyone is doing it. To not go along with the crowd is a brave and courageous move which is impossible to do discretely. We have online bullying and abuse coming from every angle. Social media is a part of everyday life where children are immersed in an online/offline world all melded into one, which can be very confusing to navigate, and of which the effects can be devastating.

The reality is, young people are dying at the hands of a world we have all created. And girls are not growing up with a reflection that is confirming them to the very core of their being, where they can see what is being offered through the empty airbrushed images or the pressure of ‘fitting in’, verses staying true to one’s self, and say ‘No thank you…not for me.’

Over 150 volunteers thus far have come together, under the banner of Esoteric Women’s Health, in support of the Girl to Woman initiative to support girls to have the opportunity to stay being the amazingness that they already are – and know that they don’t have to lose this along the way, they can take it with them into being the amazing women that they deserve to be and that the world so desperately needs. The way this festival comes together is nothing short of magical and spectacular…yet feels effortless and seamless with a group of people coming together with a unified purpose and a dedication to making true change.

In truth, we all want this for girls. Not just the girls in our family or the ones we know personally, but for all girls everywhere. We all want them to know how precious they are and how much we adore having them in our lives. Every girl deserves to be deeply loved and adored. This festival, this movement, is for us all. For us to know that we are part of something amazing. And that that ‘amazing’ is within each and every one of us - which we have a responsibility to show to the world and to let them know who we are. As the song says - ‘An Amazing Girl to an Amazing Woman’ - an anthem for every person and every household, everywhere on the planet. A song that confirms us all and one that girls will not forget. The power of Miranda Benhayon’s voice, the lyrics from Michael Benhayon and the way Natalie then presented it to us all, was a gift beyond measure. Esoteric Women’s Health & Girl to Woman Director, Natalie Benhayon has called it – Girl to Woman is going global!

By Sara Harris
Photography by Matt Paul

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From the Girl To Woman Market Stalls – Conversations With Dads

17/1/2018

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Teacher, Kristy Wood, has been volunteering at a number of Girl to Woman local market stalls in the lead up to the 2018 G2W Festival at Lennox Head. Here she shares some of the conversations she has had with dads regarding the upcoming Festival.

What I have noticed is just how much dads respond to the Festival.

At one of the markets, a mother and father walked into the stall with their six year old daughter. The daughter eagerly sat down to have her nails painted and the father asked what the festival is about. When we shared that it is about celebrating and appreciating girls for who they are and what they bring, he loved this and said it was very needed.

He shared that he was a truck driver who had worked in the industry for many years. He told us how he used to work long hours and how he would try to push each job to get it done as fast as he could. “Now since my daughter has come along, it’s totally different. There is nothing more that I love than to come home to her , and while I want to get back to her as quick as I can, I don’t push it anymore because I want to make sure I get home”.

When he went on to share how much he loved having a daughter, she overheard him speaking and she lit up.

“When she came along it changed me,” he said, “it softened me and I just totally adore her. There is nothing more gorgeous than when I get to come home and look at her or cuddle her.”

His appreciation for his daughter and what she brings to his life was bursting out of him.

About twenty minutes later, another family came along who also had a six-year-old girl. Within minutes her father was opening up about the pressures of working long hours as a medical specialist.

He also realised the need to look after himself more, as it had begun to affect how much he could interact and be there for his daughter. “Now I make sure I rest when I can because spending time and being with her is really important to me,” he said. He then shared what he loved about having a daughter: “You get home from these night shifts and then a few hours later in the morning she will come into the room and her smile just brightens up the place.”

It was as if these men had so much that they wanted to share about how much of a joy it is for them to have a daughter, but they had not had an avenue to say it.

I was reflecting on these men as I drove away from the markets. I realised that so often we don’t have these conversations. We will often talk about how challenging it is raising kids, which it is. But how often do parents, fathers in particular, stop and get the opportunity to share with others the blessing that a daughter brings to their lives? I realised how important it is to make the space to express the love that is there.

I have noticed in my years as a teacher that, as girls approach their teen years, those who have fathers who openly cherish and adore them and have not held this back, often have a more solid sense of themselves. They seem to be more comfortable in their own skin and are not as easily swayed but able to hold more steady in themselves.

By Kristy Wood

The Girl To Woman Festival takes place at Lennox Head Sunday the 21st of January. For more information and to book tickets, please visit the website: http://girltowoman.com.au. The first 150 young women who book online will receive a free giftbag.

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Make-up: Confirming The Beauty Within

26/11/2017

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Rachael Evans explores how make-up can be used to celebrate our inner beauty, rather than wearing it as a mask to hide behind.

Do you remember as a young girl watching in awe as your mother put on her lipstick while dreaming of the day when you’d get to do the same? What is it about make-up that can be so captivating? Whether it’s perfume, eye shadow or lipstick, the space to express ourselves through a style or look we like is endless when it comes to cosmetics. The array of colours, textures, scents and brands are enormous if not startling when beginning the journey with make-up. So why do women wear it? Why do girls want to wear it? Why don’t some women wear it at all? And is it something we feel we need?

Through the Girl To Woman Festival I have witnessed first hand the enjoyment of make-up in young girls and women and how their entire demeanor changes when they are met with the opportunity to express themselves in this way.

The big difference here is that the girls are invited to celebrate their inner beauty with the make-up and not used as a cover-up or a mask to hide.

There is a lot of activity in the world about women, teens and even younger girls not liking how they look and there is a lot of products, fads and ‘must-haves’ on the market that promise to ‘fix’ these issues. But, as I have experienced, nothing can solve these issues like confirming, nurturing and enjoying who you are from the inside out. This is where the joy of make-up can be used to play with, experiment with and celebrate the gorgeous-ness that is within every single woman and girl in this world.

By Rachael Evans
Photography by Clayton Lloyd

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Girl to Woman Tenterfield - Living Resumes Stall

8/9/2017

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Living Resumes: Documenting Their Awesomeness!

The purpose of this stall was to offer the girls an opportunity to document their qualities, goals and wisdom on a laminated sheet that they could take away for their personal records. This also included a photo of themselves.

Identifying their qualities
Just as a work resume requires us to list skills and experience, so too the Living Resume asked the girls to identify the qualities they bring to the world.

The girls were amazing in how they were willing to share their qualities - with kindness, love and honesty shared most often.

What message would you give your younger self?
When asked this question, the girls offered some gems which we could all learn from:
“Be You”
“Always trust yourself”
"Don’t care what people think of you!"
“Feel beautiful no matter what anyone else says”
“Don’t hang out with people that are jealous of you”

Whose Role Model are you?
In addition to supporting them to identify their qualities and offer their wisdom, we asked the girls whose role models they are. Common responses included: friends, brothers, sisters, pets and even parents!

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So…Who Is Your Role Model?

28/2/2017

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After attending the recent Girl to Woman Festival in Lennox Head - with the theme 'Whose role model are you?' - Emilia Pettinato reflected on the role models she had as a child and how this has changed today.

Who was your role model as a kid?

Gosh...I don't know?!

The first person that came to me was Michael Jordan. I'm assuming you know Michael Jordan...? The American basketball player who is said to be the greatest basketball player of all time. His trademark Air Jordan sneakers and apparel are still sold on mass today worldwide. I got my first pair of Jordans in primary school. I actually used to place them on a chair next to my bed so my basketball boots were the first thing I looked at when I woke up. Yeah I did that...What?! They had speckled multi coloured soles and velcro...can you blame me? :)

You may know the commercial promoting the drink Gatorade in the 90's where a choir of kids, men and women sing 'Like Mike, if I could be like Mike'...teamed with a video clip of people playing basketball, imitating MJ's signature moves. It sounds like a song out of the movie The Lion King or something...lots of drumming, emotion-stirring stuff. He really was pinned as a king during that time of his sporting career. That song was a bit of an anthem of the 90's. I wasn't the only one who wanted - or still wants - to be like Mike.

It's weird when reflecting on who I admired and looked up to when I was younger. I collected both basketball cards and football cards. I spent countless dollars (pinched from dad's coin jar) on sports cards, placing pictures of these random men into their clear plastic pockets with great precision. Taking my card folder to school, getting recognition from the boys for having cards they wanted.

This may all sound like your typical experience of many kids growing up, idolising certain sports stars, celebrities, musicians...copying what they wear, their moves, how they act, what they do etc.

Not much of a big deal...right???

Well...now that I'm a 34 year old woman/school teacher and not a 12 year old tom boy/student anymore, I know there is no possibility the people I looked up to in my early years would even gain a look in today. And there is no way I would be sleeping next to my sneakers...although let's be honest: I still love shoes ! :)

Why?

What's changed?

Why don't I want to be like Mike anymore?

It only takes a quick google search to see photographs and headlines of Jordan cigar smoking, cigar smoking and more cigar smoking. Jordan playing golf with a cigar in mouth, stories of gambling addiction, partying, being a womanizer, marriage breakdown, being abusive to teammates...the list goes on. We may say 'what's the big deal, we can't judge...people can do what they want in their personal life!' While this is true to an extent, this is not about defending people's questionable choices. This is about the fact that when we look up to someone, like a sport star or celebrity for example, we don't just get the person's skills and talents to shoot heaps of hoops, kick lots of goals or hit the high notes, we get the whole way that person lives up until that game, that score, that performance. So while our so-called role models are often very skilled in what they do, the way they behave, party and take care of themselves (or not) is also clocked by their fans, both young and old.

For example:

How often do we hear about celebrities we pin as really 'having it together', later confessing or being exposed for being a mess in other areas of their life?

How often do we hear about another sports star getting into trouble with drugs and alcohol?

How often do we see celebrities or sports stars not know what to do with themselves when they are no longer working in the lime light?

Being a teacher and a youth worker, I get to see myself as a kid over and over again. I see children and teenagers play out similar things to what I did when I was their age. Only Mike today maybe Miley, or Miley may be Bieber, or Bieber may be Beckham, or Beckham may be Jolie...the list of celebrities and sports stars could go on and on.

The point is, I see young people wanting to be like everyone else but themselves. Chameleoning themselves depending on who's hot that month. Changing fashion, attitudes, ways of talking and walking. Changing what they talk about, listen to and play. Changing how they behave or who they hang out with, date, follow online etc.

So where does that leave us?

Wanting to be the best and super competitive like Mike? The fastest, prettiest, skinniest, buffest, most daring? In comparison to others, never settling and accepting we are enough, driving ourselves to achieve and succeed based on these external images we are measuring ourselves against. Or perhaps the opposite - giving up in some way, retreating into an online world, burying ourselves in work, hiding in relationships, hobbies etc.

So when we are asked the question - Do you see yourself as a role model? - It is super interesting to see if we allow ourselves to really go there with the qualities we naturally bring and simply are. As opposed to focusing on the stuff we 'do' and the skills we are 'good' at. Do we truly value and appreciate what we model naturally to others, knowing that our choices are influential and super inspiring? Or do we pretend to be unaware that our every movement is being clocked by our kids, others and even ourselves...just like I used to clock the signature moves of Michael Jordan.

Given the intensifying saturation of celebrity culture today, influencing our every move with great force, there has never been a more important time to truly know and claim what we model in our every move...taking responsibility for the fact that our own signature moves can be ones that support, love & care for ourselves and others in every moment...or do the opposite.

Enjoy connecting to the role model you are.

"Like me, I want to be simply me!"

Now that's a theme song for the new millennium :)

By Emilia Pettinato

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The Social Media Age

28/1/2017

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What if social media is more harming than we realise? Kate Robson shares what happened when her 11-year-old daughter started - and then stopped - using apps such as musical.ly and Snap Chat.

It’s hard to admit it but I had my head buried in the sand. I’m talking social media. My daughter is 11 and in a 5/6 composite class. She was in grade 5 but will be in grade 6 now. She has been asking me for Instagram for years. All of her friends have it. I have said we will talk about it when she is in high school. Early into grade 5 though, she started talking about musical.ly – an app where you sing songs and can share them with your friends. Everyone had it except her.

I said yes we can have a look at it. It became her favourite thing in the world. It was all any of the girls wanted to do or talk about. Make funny dances up, sing to songs and ‘like’ each other’s performances. Everyone really did have it so I said she could keep it and was very clear that her account had to be private.

I sat through watching those clips she would so buoyantly show me so many times thinking, ‘I really don’t like this, it feels so off,’ but I was taken by her enthusiasm and did not want to take something off her she loved so much. I also didn’t want her to feel left out or like she didn’t fit in. She actually said, ‘if I don’t do these things then I will be too different. I will miss out on all of the talking with my friends.’ I understood that feeling. Not wanting to be left alone. The dag.

Then one day an 18-year-old friend came over and asked me ‘why is she is on there?’ She told me of her experience of these platforms and the sexual energy that underpins them with young girls and boys singing and dancing to very explicit rap songs and mimicking the very suggestive movements of the pop stars. They then often share these publically. The average age of a user is under 12.

We looked through her account. Months after she opened it we realised she had it not set to private. A private account is only seen by friends (a limited audience), so she had opened it up to get more likes. This is by design, the psychological hook of the app, which is like a children’s own ‘top 100 charts’ with them as the stars. Kids only become ‘famous’ on musical.ly if their accounts are public. And so she had turned the private setting to ‘off’ and on her account we discovered that there was indeed a comment from a pedophile.

It is at this point as a parent you do a double take. I just could not believe how irresponsible I had been. How I had not checked this sooner? How had I just trusted her to be ok on this app when I knew what it felt like on the site and how addictively hooked into it they all were? What was it that blindsided me even though I knew?

That brings me to snap chat. Same deal. ‘Mum, it is just a messaging thing and look people can put flowers in their hair and please, please, please, everyone has it but me.’ 'Ok.' This one seemed ok too at the start. Just messages and fun pictures. Only to your friends. Safe yeah? Whoa. Have you seen the pictures on snap chat? They distort and make your eyes glassy and turn beautiful young girls into vixens. Again. Felt like it wasn’t ok, didn’t like the photos but kept on with it knowing it wasn’t good for her. Knowing she was taking selfies using the ‘dead filter’ to make her look like a murder victim.

Even though I knew it felt wrong I was going with the notion that everyone had it and this is ‘the generation’ and you can’t hide from it, she will have to learn…but learn what? That taking dead photos of yourself and sharing them is cool? That the abusive way kids speak and swear to each other on these platforms and at school is normal? What a whack of irresponsibility I had to face. Not anymore. I am so grateful our friend spoke to me about her experience of these platforms and got me to look a bit deeper and trust what my feelings had been from the start.

I write this to all parents and kids because I understand the pressure out there for our kids to be on these sites, but the truth is they are very harming, very damaging and very abusive dressed up as fun and normal.

The interesting thing was when I took them off her iPad she didn’t protest. She was upset of course because it was a link-way to her friends, but she did not refuse, no tantrum, we had a long conversation about it and in her I could feel almost a relief, a ‘thanks mum, you finally got it.’ When I wrote to her teacher about it he said ‘Snap Chat is one of the most dangerous sites for kids to be on. So many of them are on there.’

End point – I will trust myself and how things feel and will not give myself or in this case my daughter away to what everyone else is doing or to ‘the generation’ argument ever again. I will show her and all of the kids around us that they are worth so much more than that. That is the role model I want to be.

By Kate Robson
Photograph by Shannon Everest

The recently held Girl To Woman Festival hosted a specific Workshop for Parents to discuss what is happening for young people on Social Media and to look at ways they can truly support their kids to be safe online. A Social Media support group for parents will be launched shortly. Subscribe to the newsletter to learn more.

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True Beauty – Not From A Jar

24/1/2017

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Owner of Instil skin care products, Aphra Heron, discusses the importance of self-love, self-care, and knowing that our true beauty comes from within. Instil supports the Girl to Woman Festival on an annual basis by providing the gift of an Instil skin care product. This year the girls received the 'Gorgeous Me Body Lotion' - A light and silky body lotion to hydrate and cherish us all as the gorgeous girls and women we are.

Growing up in this world as a woman can be harsh and there is a lot of pressure we face. Working in the beauty industry, specifically with beauty products, I see this play out every day.

Whether it is a hyper driven, over stressed business owner selling beauty/wellness treatments, or a woman investing time and energy into beauty products…the pattern is all the same. There is a general discomfort in women of all ages, a search outside of themselves to find a solution for their problems. This could look like a ‘super wow’ miracle cure for acne or a quick fix solution for weight loss. It’s all out there and the world readily provides a supposed ‘answer’ for it all, from the internet to beauty salons, we, the modern woman, have it all at our fingertips.

But sadly, we lack understanding for what is really going on ourselves, for girls and women; in a time when self-worth is at an all-time low, we continue to feed the issues instead of correcting the source. We search outside for solutions to fix, repair, enhance, enrich, thicken, slim, increase, decrease, plump, thin, smooth, reduce etc. This starts for girls at a very young age.

Projects like Girl to Woman begin to offer girls a different perspective – one based from the inside and not the outer pressures. This offers girls and young women the opportunity to re-learn a way of being as women that we have lost, supporting them to make different choices. Ones for themselves based on self-love and an understanding that they need not follow anything they choose not to.

The Girl to Woman Festival is so unique because it aims to celebrate the beauty and grace women naturally are. It looks to cut down some of the issues we face by getting to the source, by empowering girls and women to trust in who they are and their innate natural beauty and strength.

As a woman working in the beauty industry, I can see that no product can deliver the real answer: self-love, deep care and a cherishing of who we are. However, they can be a beautiful part of the process and a great place to start. Instil products began from an impulse to blend a range of skin care products that did away with the false ideals of beauty being outside of ourselves, and were founded on the principle of true beauty from within. We blend our products knowing that women are already everything. They are beautiful and they are powerful when choosing to remember this. There is a very innate and delicate power in the sacredness of a woman. It’s from here we can choose to operate. Beauty products need not be quick fix solutions to amend the ‘broken’, but can be products made with integrity and quality that support you to be your own woman. They are simple and need not come with an imposition to make you something you are not, nor do they need promise to fix anything.

At Instil our motto is:

Love – Skin – You

Which sums it up for us really.

When we love ourselves, we feel comfortable in our own skin and have self-esteem and self-worth – naturally so. No purchase or quick fix required. Only when we hold this and claim it in full can we meaningfully convey this message for the girls and young women in our lives and community.

By Aphra Heron
Photograph by Emilia Pettinato

To find out more about Instil products, workshops or to place an order, go to
www.instil.com.au or email hello@instil.com.au.

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