The father-daughter relationship – raising girls to women.
Many fathers and daughters have beautiful relationships that have a true connection, love and understanding. Of course dads love the father-daughter relationship they have with their little girls but what happens when the little girl that dad once knew starts to develop into a young woman? Does the relationship remain the same and if not how does it change? Ray Karam, father of two young girls aged 5 and 11, and presenter at the upcoming Girl to Woman Festival answers our questions.
What is your relationship with your two girls?
I have a very close relationship with the two girls. You could say the relationship is different for both girls because of their ages, but it is also different because they are different. I am a strong support for them and really enjoy being their father.
For me it is a truly special thing to parent children especially parenting and watching young girls grow up. Girls, like all children, can grow so rapidly sometimes it seems overnight. Spending consistent time with my girls as they grow has been a focus for me.
How have you approached the changes that your girls go through as they grow older and become young women?
My approach is on a day-to-day basis and knowing when to be there and also when to give them space. It is important for me that I don’t carry ‘how they are or were’ from one day to the next. This keeps our relationship ‘fresh’ and enables me to be more flexible and open to the changes that occur.
As a father to 2 girls I am aware of the changes that take place for them as they grow. But sometimes it is like we want them always to be “Daddies little girl” and so we treat them at times like that, no matter what age they are. But I am aware that children need different things at different ages and I know as a parent, taking care in these changing or growing times can really support that change and allow the girls to grow into the beautiful women they are.
Many dads find it hard to know how to relate to their girls as they become older or that the father-daughter relationship seems to change. How do you continue to relate to your girls and really connect as they grow into young women?
Again I don’t put pressure on myself to ‘be there’ or ‘be something’ for the girls or any of the children. It is a constant day to day, moment to moment approach with them. I find with this approach I am more able to ‘be’ what I need to be in that moment with the girls. It allows me to be flexible and see more of what is going on for them. I take notice of the things that go on around me but I don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over if the girls show me that something doesn’t work for them. For me I have to be open to feedback from them as well. It’s not that you let the children parent you, but if I need to change well then it is something at least to be considered.
My purpose in parenting is to support the children to be themselves in the world as they grow. Whether it be time just sitting talking or time just with them doing day to day things. Being aware of how they are speaking and relating.
To do that I need to support the changes I see at home because when they are young the home is their world. So it could be possible that how I am with my young girls will influence how they are with all men in time to come as they grow and develop into young women.
As with all things, the relationship between father and daughter will continue to grow over a lifetime. The younger years can be a beautiful time for both fathers and daughters just as celebrating the time as girls blossom and grow into young women is and can be. The Girl to Woman Festival will discuss this and other topics further to support girls and fathers to grow this beautiful father-daughter relationship. Ray Karam will also be presenting at the festival to share further his experience of parenting young girls and the transition from girl to woman.
Ray Karam presents with Michael Benhayon on Raising Girls at the Girl to Woman Festival, Lennox Head Community & Cultural Centre, January 18th 2015.
What is your relationship with your two girls?
I have a very close relationship with the two girls. You could say the relationship is different for both girls because of their ages, but it is also different because they are different. I am a strong support for them and really enjoy being their father.
For me it is a truly special thing to parent children especially parenting and watching young girls grow up. Girls, like all children, can grow so rapidly sometimes it seems overnight. Spending consistent time with my girls as they grow has been a focus for me.
How have you approached the changes that your girls go through as they grow older and become young women?
My approach is on a day-to-day basis and knowing when to be there and also when to give them space. It is important for me that I don’t carry ‘how they are or were’ from one day to the next. This keeps our relationship ‘fresh’ and enables me to be more flexible and open to the changes that occur.
As a father to 2 girls I am aware of the changes that take place for them as they grow. But sometimes it is like we want them always to be “Daddies little girl” and so we treat them at times like that, no matter what age they are. But I am aware that children need different things at different ages and I know as a parent, taking care in these changing or growing times can really support that change and allow the girls to grow into the beautiful women they are.
Many dads find it hard to know how to relate to their girls as they become older or that the father-daughter relationship seems to change. How do you continue to relate to your girls and really connect as they grow into young women?
Again I don’t put pressure on myself to ‘be there’ or ‘be something’ for the girls or any of the children. It is a constant day to day, moment to moment approach with them. I find with this approach I am more able to ‘be’ what I need to be in that moment with the girls. It allows me to be flexible and see more of what is going on for them. I take notice of the things that go on around me but I don’t keep repeating the same thing over and over if the girls show me that something doesn’t work for them. For me I have to be open to feedback from them as well. It’s not that you let the children parent you, but if I need to change well then it is something at least to be considered.
My purpose in parenting is to support the children to be themselves in the world as they grow. Whether it be time just sitting talking or time just with them doing day to day things. Being aware of how they are speaking and relating.
To do that I need to support the changes I see at home because when they are young the home is their world. So it could be possible that how I am with my young girls will influence how they are with all men in time to come as they grow and develop into young women.
As with all things, the relationship between father and daughter will continue to grow over a lifetime. The younger years can be a beautiful time for both fathers and daughters just as celebrating the time as girls blossom and grow into young women is and can be. The Girl to Woman Festival will discuss this and other topics further to support girls and fathers to grow this beautiful father-daughter relationship. Ray Karam will also be presenting at the festival to share further his experience of parenting young girls and the transition from girl to woman.
Ray Karam presents with Michael Benhayon on Raising Girls at the Girl to Woman Festival, Lennox Head Community & Cultural Centre, January 18th 2015.
